Claiming less than a point per game in 2016, Crystal Palace are the worst-performing team in the top four divisions of English football, while Gareth Southgate – if he remains in charge of England – needs to give Jermain Defoe a call.
BBC Sport takes a look at some of the most interesting statistics from Saturday’s Premier League action.
Palace prop up the rest
It was only in September that Crystal Palace boss Alan Pardew said managing England was the “pinnacle for any Englishman’s career”, and with no permanent manager in place for the Three Lions, ‘Pards’ may still get a call.
But only if they ignore his numbers in 2016.
The Londoners were nine minutes away from winning the FA Cup at Wembley in May, prompting a touchline jig from Pardew, before Manchester United turned the game around to win in extra time.
Decent in the cup, but dreadful in the league. Palace have played 31 Premier League games this year, claiming just 22 points, which works out at 0.71 points per game.
So how bad is the run? Palace fans – look away now. It is the worst of all 92 professional teams in English football.
The Eagles have also gone 17 league games without keeping a clean sheet, although this run is still a long way off West Brom’s record of conceding in 34 straight games.
“Alan Pardew is saying he’s not worried about relegation but he’s going to have to start worrying about it soon,” former Palace striker Ian Wright told Match of the Day.
Oh no, not you again
Arsenal striker Olivier Giroud may have scored a late equaliser for Arsenal against Manchester United, but the draw meant Red Devils boss Jose Mourinho is now 12 games unbeaten against counterpart Arsene Wenger.
That streak is not too far off the record, held (jointly) by…?
Sir Alex Ferguson, of course. The Scot enjoyed 17 games without defeat against his former defender Steve Bruce, but here’s a top, top surprise.
Ex-West Ham, Spurs and Portsmouth boss Harry Redknapp also went 17 Premier League matches without being on the losing side against Martin O’Neill.
A triffic performance.
Harry the hot Spur and Jer-main man
Mauricio Pochettino’s Tottenham remain unbeaten after 12 games, yet still manage to find themselves behind north London rivals Arsenal in the league.
In fact, they went all of October without winning a game – in any competition – but are just three points adrift of Liverpool and Manchester City, who lead the way.
For that, they owe plenty of gratitude to striker Harry Kane, who scored twice in the weekend’s comeback win over West Ham, and netted to claim a point against the Gunners in their previous match.
How about this? His record in London derbies stacks up as the best of any player to have played 10 or more capital fixtures, with 18 goals scored in 22 games.
And since the start of last season, Spurs have picked up 20 points in London derby games in the league – the most of any side involved.
Kane’s tally of 19 strikes in 2016 also makes him the leading Englishman, but Sunderland’s Jermain Defoe – who last earned an England cap in 2013 – follows closely on 18.
Defoe’s goal in the thumping win over Hull not only helped take the Black Cats off the bottom of the table, but the 34-year-old also chalked up his 150th Premier League goal in the process.
Watch out – he’s heading your way
“Lump it to the big man.” English football’s much-maligned style of play and one Andy Carroll would thrive off, if he managed to stay off the treatment table.
But it is a tactic that is working wonders for his West Ham team-mate Michail Antonio.
The big winger opened the scoring at White Hart Lane with his sixth headed goal of the campaign and 11th of the year in total.
It takes him level alongside former Everton midfielder Tim Cahill for headers in a calendar year – the Australian notching the same number in 2010.
Can Antonio nod his way to the top of the pile? He has got seven games to achieve it.
Zola, Fabregas and… Huth?
Meanwhile, Leicester centre-back Robert Huth, who has headed a fair few balls in English football, became the first German to play 300 times in the Premier League.
No Italian, Spanish or Brazilian player has reached the landmark, while Australian goalkeeper Mark Schwarzer leads the way for overseas players with 514 appearances.
Quick but not quick enough
For those who arrived late at Vicarage Road on Saturday, they would have missed midfielder Etienne Capoue’s opening goal for Watford against champions Leicester.
The Frenchman’s volley found the net after just 33 seconds which – you may think – is some sort of rapid goal record.
Incorrect. It is not even the fastest goal scored this season, an accolade that goes to Chelsea’s Pedro, who sneaked in to score against Manchester United after just 30 seconds.
Former defender Ledley King still reigns supreme as having netted the quickest goal in Premier League history, clocking in at 10 seconds for Tottenham against Bradford.
And from fast starts to slow
After his fifth game as Swansea boss, American Bob Bradley is still in search of his first victory. The Welsh outfit have now dropped to the bottom of the Premier League.
But Bradley – if given time – will need to go on a shocking run if he is to catch Mick McCarthy, who went 15 without victory in the Premier League with Sunderland.
McCarthy’s winless streak is matched by John Gorman, who started his first 15 games for Swindon in 1994 without winning. They promptly got relegated, which remains their only season in the top flight.
Great tache though.